You matter just as much as your husband

In marriage, as a woman, you obey your husband and he is your leader.

That does not mean that his life is more important than yours.

That does not mean that his needs are more important than yours.

That does not mean that you have less right to humanity and mercy than he does.

Being at home with the kids and covering yourself does not equal living in his shadow and having less of a right to want to be happy and live your life.  

It’s not because there’s people out there who try to interpret Islam through the eyes of misogynistic or abusive dynamics that you have to believe them. 

You’re equals in terms of humanity and the needs that humans have of mercy, respect, kindness, attention, support, individual interests and hobbies, being allowed to have limits and shortcomings… 

It just has to be within the limits set by Allaah and your husband has a higher sense of responsibility over the family than you, and you treat him accordingly, that’s it. 

If you expect him to be the leader and lift heavy things but you don’t respect or honor him, you’re being unfair and lack wisdom, you’re not seeing the long term vision.

But does that mean you self-abandon?

You pretend your needs don’t matter?

You force yourself in a always-soft-always-content-mask when you’re dying inside?

You hide your true feelings because you don’t want to burden anyone? 

You have to accept always feeling like you come last? 

Ehhh, no. Let’s unsubscribe from that.

Because it doesn’t work in the long run and only increases chances of divorce, and it's our children that will suffer the consequences eventually.