Case Study

The lovely Sanjeeda came to me with complaints of depression, mom guilt, and feeling disconnected from her ‘ibadah.

(fake names for privacy purposes!)

Which became even more glaringly painful with every Ramadan that went by with a sense of failure and without “recharging”.

She would start out strong but give up quickly because she felt like she wasn’t doing enough.

Deeper down there was the raw, dark realization that she wasn’t enjoying her worship and thus not enjoying standing before her Rabb.

But what is life really if you don’t love what He loves, you obey Him but it feels like autopilot, and your heart isn’t overflowing with submission and joy to be a Muslim chosen for iman?

She had a hard time moving with the flow of life and struggled with feeling anxious about a lot of daily things

She’d feel insecure making decisions, always feel like she was doing things wrong or expected herself to give up anyway.

So she would procrastinate and doom scroll.

But what’s interesting is that every time we deny ourselves the chance to work through our reality, and we try to escape and distract, it comes back in the form of more anxiety and a lower sense of self-worth.

Tawakkul wasn’t weaved into her inner fabric, which left her with the inability to be patient with her own growing process, and having far too high expectations of herself.

Subconsciously she had associated Islam with harshness due to growing up within a judgmental community. So she couldn’t solve her problems by seeking closeness to Allah either..

As we started working together, we immediately installed new ways of connecting to Allaah ta’aala (no worries, 100% based on the Scholars’ sayings! Team no bid’ah iykyk) ... And we started the journey into detachment from the dunya.

As her closeness to Allaah grew and her love for Him was approached with positive core beliefs, she started saying “the autopilot was coming off”

She started feeling deeply grateful for the depression and tests in order to be prepared for her new and improved life. Out of autopilot she got the opportunity to manage triggers differently;

- Deal with conflict better;

- Improve her achlaq;

- And overpower her ego, directly aiding her marriage.

She took pleasure in taking control of her nafs and learning to look at everything from an Islamic perspective.

Despite growing up in a strict Islamic household, that part was new for her.

With autopilot off, we could work on deepening her intentions and building hope in Allaah ‘azza wa djall.

S. went from living with disguised shame and guilt to feeling empowered and understanding we can turn any situation around...

If we rely on Allaah ta’aala.